I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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