Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
do herpes really smell.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
