um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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