I seem to have left my pride at pride
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Randomize
