sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
