He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Randomize
