Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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