I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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