Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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