I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
