all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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