I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
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