help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
