dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
