His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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