Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
You're a waste of cheezeits
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
