Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
