News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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