i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
