ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
