I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
