I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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