mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
