lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
