Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Randomize
