So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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