Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i don't like sucking hair
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
