ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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