If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
