my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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