The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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