I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Did we literally take a cab across the street
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
