Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
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