Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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