p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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