I swear she didn't look like that last week.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
