It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
