Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
No stitches, just platelets and will power
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
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