I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
