Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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