Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
