I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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