I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
