Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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