I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
