it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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