He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
