just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
