I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
