I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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